Towards the End
by SearchingTheSkies
Summary: Malcolm Hawke knew something was strange about his eldest. He didn't know how right he was. A reincarnation fic with a twist. no pairings as of yet. Rated T for now.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age or it's characters._

_Enjoy!_

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_You're north of Heaven,  
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_Maybe somewhere west of Hell_

_-Birth, 30 Seconds to Mars_

"Papa, papa, my bro'er an' sis are coming!" It was then when Malcolm Hawke that his firstborn was special, even more so than he first believed as her father. The next morning he held his two darling twins in his arms.

"Carver," he whispered into his son's ear, Templar armor and a sad smile faded from his vision as he once again saw the small babe in his arms. "You will be Carver, and you will be great one day." Then he turned to his second daughter, a beautiful baby if he ever saw one. "Love, what shall she be named?"

"Bet'ny, Papa, her name is Bet'ny." He looked to his eldest, seeing the pain in her eyes and the trembling shoulders. "Please, Papa, Mama, name her Bet'ny." And his wife, his beautiful wife smiled at the both and took her twins, tucking them close to her.

"Bethany and Carver, then."

And Malcolm Hawke pulled his daughter close, praying to the Maker for his family.

_No magic, no magic. _

_Let them live peacefully, without this burden. _

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Malcolm Hawke knew that his eldest was special. It wasn't just a father thinking of his daughter, but of a mage looking at an experiment. Not that he didn't look his eldest, he did. Beyond measure. But sometimes, she surprised him.

There was that one time, right after the twins_- so lovely, so innocent- _turned two. She had looked upon them as she had been doing the past few weeks when he had walked into the room unnoticed.

"I wonder which one is it this time?"

And for some reason, chills went down his spine and he had the urge to hide his two babies from the stranger that looked like his daughter. Her voice was the same, but there was an undertone that he hadn't heard before. It was jaded and bitter sounding to his ears, and he wondered for a moment if his worst fears were brought to life in the form of a demon in his daughter.

But she suddenly shivered and turned around to look at him, and he wondered how he could ever think that with those bright green eyes shined up at him.

"Papa -_such a childish voice still, nodemoninmydaughter- _can I play with them now?"

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Everything was burning. His family was scared and they needed him to be strong, but it was so hard to be the strong one when everything was falling apart. He knew the Templars were close by, he knew that if one of the kids started crying like a normal child would do it was all over. He knew, and yet...the only sounds were coming from the crackling of the flames and the indistinguishable shouts getting farther away from his family. He held the small hand firmly, their breaths coming short as they tried to catch up with the rest of the family.

His poor Bethany didn't know what she was doing, she was so young, her future was so bright _I'msosorrypleaseforgivemeIdidn'twantthis-_

"Come on, Papa, we 'ave to hurry." Ah, dear Marian, his pride and joy and_ nosignsnodemonsthanktheMaker- _

Then the single man appeared, silver armor leering at them, the flames dancing off it.

He wasn't glaring at father and daughter, wasn't about to strike them where they stood. He was a simple man doing what he thought was right, doing what he thought was protecting the rest of the world from dangerous apostates.

He was a simple obstacle.

Malcolm Hawke had never been so disappointed in himself than at that moment when he hesitated, seeing no hatred must mean a chance of mercy, just one.

And that almost gave the man the chance to call for others, if not for his daughter. His young, special daughter to close her eyes and the man was down, and the earth was moving around him and everything was _redredredandburning_.

He had never hated the magic running through his veins as he did then, when his beautiful daughter had to grab his hand to catch up with his wife and children, not once acknowledging the raised ground now covering her sin.

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Malcolm Hawke Hawke never told his wife of his fears about their eldest. He never mentioned the eyes that would turn a darker green and would look so _old _and _sad._ The older Hawke never even gave a hint that he knew -_ofcourseIknowhowcanInot?!- _that their daughter wasn't as innocent as she looked, wasn't as young as she looked, _wasn't the daughter that they knew she looked like. _

Sometimes, he even refused to admit to himself that the stranger living with their family was just that. Because after all, no stranger would be more protective than the two twins than their own parents. No stranger would look at him with eyes full of pain and love, and _understand. _

It broke his heart how much she understood.

_How many times have you seen so many years in such a young child's eyes that you can barely even see a child anymore? _

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**Ah, hey ^^ so this isn't my first fanfic, I will admit, but it's my first try at a reincarnation story, and a Dragon Age one, too. This is just the prologue, of course, just to see how it's taken to. **

**This isn't very apparent, but my OC has reincarnated more than once before, which I will touch upon later in the story.**

**I would of course love some feedback, even just to say it was good/bad, but I would really love some criticism on it, also. To know what I could do better, what I could leave out, add, etc. **

**Anyways, thanks for reading the first chapter! I realize it may be a little confusing at times ^^;**


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age franchise obviously, nor any of the characters. Enjoy!_  
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_Just a little late,_  
_You found me, you found me_  
_You Found Me, The Fray_

"He always could tell something was wrong, every single time after the first. Malcolm Hawke was a smart man, and a good mage. After so many times around, though, the pain numbed.

_"Papa, you're back!"_

"Marian, darling, can you go help your mother please? I'll watch the twins." I had grown used to it. I'm dangerous, and he knows it. It doesn't hurt anymore, just disappoints.

_I'll-I'll be good this time around, Papa, just don't leave us!"_

"Yes father." Not 'Papa' anymore. Not now. I slowly stood up away from the twins, unwilling to part, but knowing I must. He mustn't suspect this time around.

"It was Bethany who started crying first. Always did.

_"P-papa? Papa, no!_

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_It was a peaceful moment in all of the chaos and I was lying on my back, my eyes down but not my walls. Never my walls._

_"Why do you stay with us? After everything? How can you stand it?" I knew _he _was standing above me, watching over me like he always did. I had grown used to the watchful gaze._

_Because I loved all of them, down to their every flaw, every imperfection in them. I _knew_ them, I knew their strengths and weaknesses, their flaws and talents. Because after all the hardships we had seen together, I had grown closer to them. Because you can only spend so long with people before you start to love._

_"Because it would be too much trouble to dump all your sorry asses."_

_Because through it all, every death and rebirth, they always came for me._

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"Mian? Mian...where's Daddy? Mian, w-what's wrong? Mian, big sis, w-why are you crying?! Ple-please, I-I'll go get Daddy, I'll go get Daddy, sis, so- so don't cry anymore!"

"E-even after all this time..?" I shouldn't care anymore, I shouldn't, not when I hadn't had a Papa ever since I came back. Even so...

_Why does it hurt so much?! _

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It was Carver that was clinging to me as the funeral progressed. Carver, who never left my side, who I held in my arms with his head buried in my shoulder.

Bethany stood at the edge of the lake, tears rolling down her face as everyone else parted. She was the closest to Father, always desperate to learn more magic, more spells.

**You can have him back, just say the word.**

_Don't feel, lock it away, you're used to it. Don't listen.  
_

"D-dad-dy...why?"

And I ushered my family into the house where Mother was, locked in her room as she stared blankly at the wall. I would take care of them like Malcolm told me to, like I had to. I was used to it. Mother nearly always broke. Sometimes too much to put back together, but I wasn't going to let that happen this time.

_There was one time where she wouldn't eat or drink, and all she would do was sit on the bench he made her outside in her garden. She would look at me, her eyes glazed, and smile while the tears poured down her pale cheeks. _

_I had always looked like Father. _

_And then she wasn't there one day. The twins were terrified, crying and begging me to find her. I had to look, though I believed she just needed some alone time. She was always so _strong _in my eyes. She held our family together after Father died, after one of the twins died, even as she found out that Gamlen betrayed her. She was always a pillar for me the first few times. _

_I found the necklace Father made her washed up on the shore, not too far from a cliff. _

_I remember watching the Templars take my sister to that tower in the lake. It wasn't much latter after that, that Carver was killed by some bandits we encountered.  
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_I was not.  
__I don't remember living very long that time around. _

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"Marian, Mian, I'm-I'm so sorry love. I'm back, please, please forgive me...I-I'll be a better mother, but we have to move, love, or the Templars might come for you two. Come, help the twins pack. We're going to Lothering."

And it now begins. A few more years. Carver, my little brother, will join the the army, and I will stay home to take care of us and teach Bethany magic. He'll come back, and it will all begin.

_He'll come back._

"Yes mother. And..." I hesitated, -_don'tleaveagainplease- _"And thank you, for...for coming back to us."

I turned around and hurried away, pretending I didn't see the tears.

"Carver, Bethany, come on. Pack up anything you must, we're moving." I'll protect them, this time. This time will be when neither of them die, they mustn't, I-

**I can make everything better, no one will be hurt, no one will ever die aga-**

No! Nonononono, go away, _go away, demondemonmonster- _stop.

It's fine, it's gone.

"Sister?" Bethany. My little sister -_threeyearsleft- _looked up at me from her spot on the floor, in the process of picking up her clothes. _It's Bethany. _

"Sorry, I was just deep in thought. Now, hurry up, and you too, Carver!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" Ah, this is the Carver I always remembered best. Always going against me, but still following my lead. That part of him never changes.

Three more years. I still had prepare, to grow stronger. I had to protect them this time.

I wouldn't allow myself to die.

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**Pintsizedpyscho- Thank you for being the first person to review! And hopefully, somewhere good!**

**princesslolitatheorca654- Thank you for dropping a review! I'm glad you like it~**

**Random Rockets- Thanks for the encouragement! I hope you liked this chapter!**

**Sin of the Fallen- That's mainly why I tried writing one for Dragon Age, and not one for Naruto, for example. **

**Fast update! No, really, it's not even been a month, this is really fast for me. So just warning the readers that I have a really bad update schedule. Which means no schedule at all. **

**But seriously, guys, I love all of you. I mean, this story got so much attention already. Thanks guys! **


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age games, nor any of the characters.

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Lothering hadn't changed very much. Well, at least, from my memories.

_Burning, everything is burning. The screams from behind, the side, everywhere. I can smell charred flesh and fell the fear coming from all directions. My lungs burn and my legs are numb, on autopilot. 'Get them out, awayawayaway._

_Gutted through the abdomen with a rusted, twisted sword. Legs crushed under a cold maul, with arrows sticking out of my arms, one in the head. _

_Dead again._

Not everybody was the same, but I remembered mostly everybody. Old man Barlin was still there, like always. I had grown fond of the grumpy man after all the time I spent with him. Then there would come the newest Chantry sister, though I was never really that close to her, even in my memories, something always seemed...hidden about her.

And then there were others like the boy standing in front of me, smiling. Dark tanned skin with a light shade of brown hair, and blue eyes looking down at me. He seemed only a few years older -physically, of course, but no one needs to know- than myself. He was a farmer, like most of the town's men; I could seen muscles through the cloth shirt.

"Can I help you with something?" I raised an eyebrow for the extra effect.

"Well, you're new, so I was hoping to show you around the place maybe, I mean, if you would allow me." Oh? Well, this was a first.

Well, not really. If I remember correctly, this is exactly the third time. But oh well. Different time and people.

"Ah. No, I believe I'm good, thank you, Ser. I was just taking a quick look. Though perhaps, do you maybe own the farm outside of town? My brother and I will be looking for work soon, and now is as good as any to ask." I could clearly see the boy's face light up, and he didn't even try to hide his grin.

"Of course! We need new workers, anyways. I'll ask Father and get back t you on it, okay?" Not giving me a chance to reply, the boy turned and walked away.

Well, at least I have a job for us. For the moment at least.

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The boy from a while ago was called Samson. Carter and I did end up working on his family's farm. It was tiring work, but we worked hard for the money. Samson was always around Carter and I, helping us whenever he could or just chatting, sometimes bringing some water jugs with him. It was...surprisingly nice.

I would train my brother on our days off, or even after work it we weren't too tired. Besides, I might be a mage this time, but I still can remember my skills with a blade from before. No more just relying on magic. Bethany, however, was a little harder to train. Her body wasn't built to wield a large sword. And although she might be quick, she's more comfortable with range, though I have given her decent training with a dagger at least. We still had a few years until anything major happened.

"Come on, push harder, Carter! You wouldn't be able to cut through pumpkin with this kind of force!" Duck, avoid magically dulled blade, reach out.

He avoided my arm at the last moment, darting to the side with a twist and then the cold metal was at my throat.

Smirking, he said, "I win." I sighed and looked down, his eyes following my vision until they rested on the small dagger aimed at his stomach, nearly touching.

"Wow, those were so fancy moves!" Startled, I swung around, the dagger flying out of my hand to the disturbance.

_Intruder. Get rid of it, danger. Liability. _

"Sister, no! It's-" Target dodged, barely missing a deathly blow to the chest. Carter grabbed my arm and squeezed, probably bruising it. But I felt the pull before I could stop it, rising from behind my eyes as red and orange licked across my eyes. Then I was on the ground, Carver's body weight crushing me. It wasn't him that stopped me, though, it was the word that I heard murmured from the person's lips.

"Mara..." Everything slowed, until it seemed I was looking at the world as it was frozen in time, wide blue eyes staring into mine, a tiny, bitter smile locked on his face. Flames surrounding him.

Samson.

Then time started again, and I could smell the fire -no smoke, not magical fire- and hear the muffled screams of pain.

"Samson!" And I _pulled. _Fire was always harder for me to control, harder to reign in. But I did, until just a darkened spot marred the grass and Samson laid on the ground, not too badly burnt but shocked.

_Of course he is, he was just attacked by a mage; a 'maleficar'. Oh god, we have to go, Bethany will be found out if the find me, they'll search the house, we need to _leave.

And then, as I was pushing my brother up, I realized I wasn't running away from the body, but towards it. Samson's skin was too hot, his breathing too shallow. But his blue eyes were open and he was smiling softly at me. At me, who had just nearly killed him.

"Mara, I won't tell," he whispered.

And I believed him, with the promise in his eyes and the touch of his hand on my cheek.

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**So, it's been a while...but hey! this chapter just seemed to not like me at all. It was a pain to write, and I'm still not okay with it, but today is a special occasion. No time for a longer AN, but I will say this; this story will be going majorly AU for a while. Just saying. **

**I'm now 17. Yep, today is my birthday so I thought I'd give ya'll a present!**

**Thank you everyone for review/favoriting/following! I'm really happy!**

**Kiukun-Nadralexe- Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it so far, even if there's not much to it.**

**Pintsizedpsycho- Haha, I'll get into more of her sanity in the later chapters, maybe in this one too**


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